Fakers gonna fake fake fake

Seriously, I've been hoping for positive attention for months now. I'm just tired of this all. I'm tired of paying the majority of the bills. I'm tired of not being allowed to go anywhere because your afraid of something. Bull. I'm tired of being told I don't know anything. I'm tired of being told I'm an embarrassment. I'm me. If I don't agree with something I'm gonna say it.

I'm tired you putting my business down. I'm just tired of it all.

Then you break my heart because I can't even turn you on? You'd rather jerk off than be with me. Wow. Again, you aren't just mean, you're cruel. You look for the most hurtful things to say. I'm tired of it.

So now I'm cleaning up. Again. And most of this crap is YOURS! But of course, you'll just dump it back on me.

Your racism bothers me. Your attitude about people bother me. I would be willing to tolerate it if you honestly meant to change. But you don't.

So now I'm judge mental and critical. I just say what I feel. I'm tired of being put down everyday.

So how am I supposed to believe all this? Sure you'll do this for a week or two. But I know it won't last. It never has.

I'd rather be alone "hiding" behind Jesus.

So, I will be praying so I can keep reflecting Jesus. That's all I truly have.

Story Line

My current book: 

Woman in her mid 30's is taking a shower. She's thinking about her day. She weighs 225 lbs at 5' even. She doesn't look as far but more voluptuous. 

She gets an idea to write a book about her life but mix fantasy into it. By the end of the book, her fantasy came real.

It's a real life novel. Current day. Narrative is present tense with flash backs that turn into fantasies.

Start by writing 5 pages a day, minimum.