Turmoil

I am so tired. I'm hurt and disappointed. I wonder if singing is wrong with me? I'm over weight so I hate how I look. I am not appreciated at church by the people who allow me to be there in the capacity I am at. I can't get a promotion at work. My family keeps hounding me to spend time with them. Is it wrong of me to want to be alone right now?

I still love a man who was in my life. I dream about him almost every night. I have been dreaming of him since we had started dating many years ago.

I am breaking things off with the man I am supposed to call husband. We aren't legally married. I feel like a fraud! I hurt him like I've been hurt many times before.

Lord Jesus, what is wrong with me? What am I supposed to do?

Right now, I am waiting. I crave alone time.

I am so tired. And fat. And ugly.